Fat Cyclist Chases his Dream
Dear Fat Cyclist:
I read your letter to the coach of that new bicycle racing team Radio Shack, and I was fairly moved. Now, I believe in dreams too, but the thought of leaving a comfortable, warm cubicle in exchange for the unknown dangers associated with a career in riding bicycles, well that’s just downright crazy. My friend Dean told me that he once road his bicycle for 100 miles……IN A DAY! Can you imagine that? I mean, riding a bike 100 miles?! And, he said he did it, and I quote, “because it’s fun.” Well, that was so out there, I decided to look into this whole, “becoming a pro” thing that you talk about it your letter, and I should warn you, it’s not all about media limelight and easy bike rides in the park.
Apparently, there’s some sort of race in France where they ride as far as my friend Dean did every day for 3 weeks or some nonsensical thing like that. And apparently they don’t even stop to go to the bathroom. And there are mountains there too, just so you know. It’s not all flat, you might even have to get off and walk once in a while, ‘cus some of those suckers are steep. Oh, and seems that these guys race in all kinds of different countries and in some of them they don’t even speak English! I’ve even read stories about people crashing. Some guy named Lance Armstrong even has some sort of Carbon Fiber Collarbone that was made special for him after he broke his so he could ride faster.
You’re a brave man “Fatty,” a brave man, indeed.
That said, I would strongly recommend that you stay in the safety of your office where you’re far less likely to hurt yourself. But, like I said, I believe in dreams, and even if I don’t understand them, I believe that every person is entitled to having his or her own. In light of that, I asked my friend Dean if he could help. Apparently, he knows this Lance Armstrong guy, and he says that other people know him too, and might even pay to have a bike jersey with his name signed on it. He had one that he gave to me, and now I’m giving it to you, so you can achieve your dream. Here’s the picture. I hope you can find someone who likes it enough to help you with your dream. There was also some sort of jersey that his team wore that no one else in the whole world has, so I thought that might be good too. You should definitely put it on your, website and auction it off to raise money so you can be on that team.
I wish you the very best of luck.
Nick


